Here I am at work, thinking of all the "stuff" I should do to be ready for a period of disability. I'm acting as if my hubby doesn't know where the store is; which is very far from the truth. Not only does he know where the store is, he knows his way around it quite well.
I don't have a bag packed yet to take with me. That should be pretty simple.... a robe and maybe a sweatshirt if I'm cold? I'll dress comfortably in something I can come home in.
I have my period (again), and it's like someone turned on a faucet. I freaked about it yesterday afternoon and called the doctor's office--they assured me it would not affect my scheduled surgery at all. That was a relief. I'm very ready to be done with this.
The sun is shining today and it's going into the mid-70's. Quite the weather for Central New York in April. I feel like I'll be missing the weekend....but next week I'll probably feel like sitting out on the deck, so not a bad deal after all.
Gotta get back to work--lots to do here so I can leave my replacement in a good place.
Till later
Brand New Me
Thursday, April 17, 2008
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Welcome to my journal.
On Friday, April 18, 2008, I will be having a cystocele/rectocele repair, with a total vaginal hysterectomy (removal of the uterus).
I wanted to document, for myself and others, my feelings (both physical and emotional) as I process through this surgery and recovery.
I knew this was coming....this "change of life", I mean. I just never knew I would be faced with a surgical element.
I have been in excellent health for every one of my 51 years. I can boast of having run 4 marathons, bicycling (both road riding and trail), snowboarding and windsurfing. Really, the windsurfing is more like flopping around with a board in the water. I took up all of these activities when I was well into my 40's. I ran my first marathon at 43, and Charlie (who I hope never loses his young heart) is responsible for the rest of it. I had been very active before meeting Charlie, was a regular at my local gym and loved to snowmobile (yes, I had my own Arctic Cat).
For years I knew I had a cystocele (prolapsed bladder), but was asymptomatic. There are many causes of a cystocele, with heavy lifting and multiple vanginal births being near the top of the list. A little background: I am not a very large woman (okay, I barely break 5 feet) and both of my sons were over 9 pounds, and many years of remodeling houses (carrying sheetrock, plumbing fixtures, ladders and 5-gallon buckets) only added to my gynecological issues.
Additionally, for about a year and a half now, it seems like my life has been dictated by my menstrual periods (could this be perimenopause?). I had always believed (read: hoped) that my periods would just stop happening. Ha ha ha ha ha. Exactly the opposite: not only did they not stop, they came more often. And lasted longer. And were more intense. After many tests by my trusted gynecologist, we determined that there were no medical reasons for this, it was just what my body was going to do.
I decided to go ahead and schedule the cystocele repair after I started to experience protrustion and bulging. (Gross!) Not only was there a lot of pressure, but chafing as well. Not the way I want to spend my days, especially being as active as I am. At the last exam before scheduling surgery, Dr. Marziale advised that it would be wise (while she's in there) to remove the uterus as well, since it has prolapsed so far and is just adding to the pressure on the bladder. That doesn't sound like a bad idea, since I'm pretty much done using it anyway.
That brings us to today--2 days before surgery. I am started to get a bit anxious (normal, I suppose), since I have never been hospitalized for anything but childbirth. I don't even know what to bring to the hospital with me! I've been advised by friends who've made similar journeys to just forget the makeup, jewelry (I don't believe in bling anyway), and hair products. Great. I might as well just wear my running cap; with my naturally curly (fuzzy) hair, I usually have a bad case of bedhead.
I have invested in a new robe (with a hood--good for the bedhead), and a couple of yoga-type sets to wear around the house (more hoods). I've never been one to hang out in my pj's, so I think I'll feel better in those. A new assortment of panties, too--time to retire the rest of them.
More later....thanks for visiting. Looking forward to hearing from anyone!
On Friday, April 18, 2008, I will be having a cystocele/rectocele repair, with a total vaginal hysterectomy (removal of the uterus).
I wanted to document, for myself and others, my feelings (both physical and emotional) as I process through this surgery and recovery.
I knew this was coming....this "change of life", I mean. I just never knew I would be faced with a surgical element.
I have been in excellent health for every one of my 51 years. I can boast of having run 4 marathons, bicycling (both road riding and trail), snowboarding and windsurfing. Really, the windsurfing is more like flopping around with a board in the water. I took up all of these activities when I was well into my 40's. I ran my first marathon at 43, and Charlie (who I hope never loses his young heart) is responsible for the rest of it. I had been very active before meeting Charlie, was a regular at my local gym and loved to snowmobile (yes, I had my own Arctic Cat).
For years I knew I had a cystocele (prolapsed bladder), but was asymptomatic. There are many causes of a cystocele, with heavy lifting and multiple vanginal births being near the top of the list. A little background: I am not a very large woman (okay, I barely break 5 feet) and both of my sons were over 9 pounds, and many years of remodeling houses (carrying sheetrock, plumbing fixtures, ladders and 5-gallon buckets) only added to my gynecological issues.
Additionally, for about a year and a half now, it seems like my life has been dictated by my menstrual periods (could this be perimenopause?). I had always believed (read: hoped) that my periods would just stop happening. Ha ha ha ha ha. Exactly the opposite: not only did they not stop, they came more often. And lasted longer. And were more intense. After many tests by my trusted gynecologist, we determined that there were no medical reasons for this, it was just what my body was going to do.
I decided to go ahead and schedule the cystocele repair after I started to experience protrustion and bulging. (Gross!) Not only was there a lot of pressure, but chafing as well. Not the way I want to spend my days, especially being as active as I am. At the last exam before scheduling surgery, Dr. Marziale advised that it would be wise (while she's in there) to remove the uterus as well, since it has prolapsed so far and is just adding to the pressure on the bladder. That doesn't sound like a bad idea, since I'm pretty much done using it anyway.
That brings us to today--2 days before surgery. I am started to get a bit anxious (normal, I suppose), since I have never been hospitalized for anything but childbirth. I don't even know what to bring to the hospital with me! I've been advised by friends who've made similar journeys to just forget the makeup, jewelry (I don't believe in bling anyway), and hair products. Great. I might as well just wear my running cap; with my naturally curly (fuzzy) hair, I usually have a bad case of bedhead.
I have invested in a new robe (with a hood--good for the bedhead), and a couple of yoga-type sets to wear around the house (more hoods). I've never been one to hang out in my pj's, so I think I'll feel better in those. A new assortment of panties, too--time to retire the rest of them.
More later....thanks for visiting. Looking forward to hearing from anyone!
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